Jerry Cupit Rallies

Field Report: This certainly isn’t my most well-written story. There are about a dozen other sources I would’ve reached out to and angles I would’ve taken if I were to write it all over again. I reported this story in my first news writing class at the Missouri School of Journalism in Columbia, Mo. This was the first professional experience I flexed the muscles that would carry my journalism throughout my career. I wanted to profile a veteran’s journey as he seeks treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder in the VA Health System. I quickly learned that was a bit ambitious for my resources, access and timeline. Instead, I wrote a very human story. One that required sensitivity, persistence, patience and sources’ trust. This story gave me a glimpse of the stories you can tell with a little bit of courage and a lot of empathy. Read the story below.

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Jerry Cupit talks about his life with the trembling voice of a man who just began living at 65.

“I feel like I’ve missed half of my life being scared,” Cupit says.

Cupit served in the Air Force from 1967 to 1971. But, it is not Vietnamese gunfire that haunts him. It is 56 dead bodies from Mississippi.

“When I was stationed at Keesler Air Force base, Hurricane Camille hit,” Cupit said, pausing and asking for patience as he began to sob.

As part of a search and rescue team, Cupit helped recover 56 bodies. Several days later, Cupit said, he felt uncomfortable about what had happened so he went to talk to a psychiatrist.

“He told me to go to McDonalds and just forget about what happened,” Cupit said.

Thirty-nine years of anxiety, depression and isolation peaked while Cupit watched coverage of Hurricane Katrina. Cupit said it was then his wife finally persuaded him to seek treatment at a Jefferson City psychology practice.

“Dr. Kirk (the Jefferson City psychiatrist) turned to me and said I had the worst case of PTSD that he’d ever seen,” Cupit said.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a natural response to trauma, said Grant O’Neal, Truman Veterans Hospital post-traumatic stress disorder team leader. O’Neal said post-traumatic stress disorder is fairly prevalent among servicemen and women who have been in war zones.

O’Neal said more than a quarter of veterans who have served in war zones will experience post-traumatic stress disorder at some point in their lifetime. In addition, O’Neal said another 20 percent will experience some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder without meeting the full criteria for the condition.

The Jefferson City psychiatrist also diagnosed Cupit with bipolar disorder. The veteran had been experiencing frequent manic episodes.

Cupit said he would go through manic spells while working as a respiratory therapist. Going more than three days without sleeping, he would work day shifts at one hospital and night shifts at another.

Cupit said it took so long for him to seek help because of the secretive nature of the military. Although he was never deployed, his role on base involved collecting confidential information from injured soldiers. When he was discharged, Cupit said he was forced to swear an oath of silence regarding his knowledge of the war.

“That scared me,” Cupit said. “I was afraid to talk to anyone.”

Cupit finally decided to stop living with his fear four years ago.

“If it hadn’t been for the VA, I wouldn’t be here today,” Cupit said.

For the last four years, Cupit has been residing at Truman Veterans Hospital for two weeks at a time. He has been receiving medication-based treatment and attending classes with other veterans.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the basis of treatment at Truman Veterans Hospital, O’Neal said.

“We teach cognitive strategies that help patients recognize what maladaptive thoughts are and strategies for more effective thinking,” O’Neal said.

O’Neal said the hospital combines writing assignments that isolate maladaptive thoughts with exposure to situations that are avoided due to trauma. In addition, the hospital offers a menu of classes, on such issues as post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, sleeping better and anger management, O’Neal said.

Cupit said surrounding himself with other people who struggle with mental disorders has significantly helped him be able to talk about his own issues.

Despite these steps toward recovery, Cupit’s mental disorder still managed to infect his life both financially and romantically.

“I am 100 percent disabled,” Cupit said. “My psychiatrist told me I will never work again.”

Cupit said after paying all their bills, he and his wife have $100 in spending money left each month.

“We don’t buy a lot of extra things,” Cupit said. “When Patsy goes to Wal-Mart, she has to stick to her list.”

Thankfully Cupit’s time in service covers the cost of his treatment at Truman Veterans Hospital. He said he was disappointed he could no longer work because of his disorder. “I still consider myself pretty young, and I want to go out there and be active and contribute to society,” he said.

Cupit’s post-traumatic stress disorder also strained his marriage.

“She has a lot of resentment,” Cupit said, speaking each word in a sad, soft drawl. “She is angry at me for not listening to her about getting help sooner. She’s mad that I was willing to listen to the VA, but I wasn’t willing to listen to her.”

When asked about her husband’s treatment, Patsy Cupit replied, “All I can tell you is Jerry is a very different person up there at the VA than he is here.”

Cupit said he wished the armed forces did not buy into the stigma against mental disorders back in the ’70s.

“Everyone just said, ‘Suck it up, and go do your job,’” Cupit said. “No one wanted to talk about it.”

Cupit said he sees education as a way to combat mental health issues.

“I think that would stop a lot of the stigma that people have against people with mental incapacities,” Cupit said. “People would be more informed and more able to recognize the symptoms.”

O’Neal said the type of attitude Cupit described may be a result of the military culture.

“The military has a very strong culture where you don’t have weaknesses, and if you do, you don’t show them,” O’Neal said. “Soldiers that experience PTSD are described as broken soldiers.”

O’Neal said post-traumatic stress disorder is now recognized as a real issue in the military. Although there has been a shift in post-traumatic stress disorder education and identification in recent years, O’Neal said he thinks that with a system as large as the military, it will take some time to take effect.

With a bead of pride in his voice, Cupit said he has had some success reforming himself — success he attributes to Truman Veterans Hospital.

“I think the VA has done a lot of work to approach this situation,” he said. “I know I feel a lot better about myself now.”

Although he still attends regular treatment, Cupit said he feels a lot less anxious than before.

“They tell me I’m doing well here,” Cupit said, his steadying voice.